Preparing: Another Round of Court Paperwork


I’ve been procrastinating on my court paperwork.  I needed a break from it all and felt so relieved about the current supervised visits.  It’s time to put the *Snuggie back on the shelf and get ready for the next round.  Today, I said to myself: Do It!  Grab the bull by the horns.

Our next court date is April 18th and this date will determine if the current order (supervised visits) becomes a permanent order.  After starting my paperwork tonight and reading the court transcripts, I feel extremely confident that it will go in our favor.  The paperwork and reality of it is very daunting but the positive component is that I don’t have a lot to do– he dug himself a big, cozy hole full of lies to lay down in.  I honestly don’t know how he could possibly climb out this time.

Regardless, I want to be prepared.  I have made all of the appropriate contacts, received supporting documentation and now it’s just a matter of filling out the forms and going through the motions.  I was hoping (along with billions of other people) that my Mega Millions lotto ticket was the winner last week so that I could hire a fabulous attorney to swoop in and take over this paperwork nightmare that I’ve been trapped in for three years.  After thinking about it a bit more, I realized that at this point I don’t think that I would hire an attorney even if I could pay for it.  I don’t think that I could find another human being more passionate about protecting my daughters.  Even if I had millions, I would show up for court in two weeks and represent my girls.

*Disclaimer: I don’t really own a Snuggie– can’t quite bring myself to do it but may reconsider when I retire.


11 responses »

  1. I feel you on so many levels, but it is because I am so passionate about my daughter’s safety that I hired a lawyer. Of course my case had more legal issues than most considering there was a criminal aspect… anyway as always I wish you the best of luck! Stay strong lady.

  2. You will do better than any lawyer could… my wife buried her narcissist ex and his expensive lawyer by having reality at her fingertips, in her head and on paper. The hypervigilance she knows from being married to him for 16 years prepared her to represent herself far better than any law school ever could. On the other hand, the paperwork and technical dance is extremely wearing emotionally, so I hope you are keeping your support system engaged and close. Sincerely hoping for good news on the 18th.

    By the way, Tina, as most narcissists are men (thanks to the way our culture parents its boys), I don’t look for you to post my comments as your blog is a mom’s forum. It happens, though, that I got one of the rare females ones in my first marriage – a lawyer even – so your struggles still resonate for me. I appreciate your process very much.

    • Hi Bill- I agree with you.

      PS I have greatly appreciated your posts and wisdom. I admire you and your wife for surviving and my blog is open (and welcomes) both genders.

      Have a fabulous day! -T

  3. Tina you already are a fabulous attorney! I know the paperwork and defense is a weary road to travel especially when you have a job and two little girls. I had 3 different lawyers at 3 different times and they all told me things that were not true and steered me in the direction they wanted to go. After recently paying $58,000 to the last attorney and getting further into my X’s nightmare behavior I have decided to never hire another attorney. My case is challenging because he has 3 sociopathic attorneys on retainer that lie as much as he does. The key is in teaching myself the court rules. This should be a class taught at every community college. Everyone should have access to this knowledge. If your x gets an attorney get to know these rules fast because that is where they will get you. You probably already know this as you are very smart. I don’t even know you but I am so proud of you. Thank you again for sharing all of this and letting me share a little of my own experience along the way.

    • Thank you– hearing from others is a blessing to me. It has helped SO much to know that I am not alone.

      One of the things that I recommend to others facing court alone: go sit in court (several times) and learn the ropes. There is so much knowledge in watching the proceedings, learning the local rules and being privy to attorney styles and pointers. My case is usually called last so I’ve spent countless days in there and it has been invaluable to me.

  4. You rock, mama! As always, your blogs continue to inspire me to stay strong in my own battles with my narcissist. And like your ex-husband, he continues to dig himself in deeper in a nest of lies. He even filed a false police report against me 2 weeks ago and now may be facing additional criminal charges We’re headed to court this Friday for the preliminary stages of his felony DV trial and I’m sick with nerves and your blogs always come as a comfort. Thank you so much for doing what you do. From one survivor to another, I wish you so much luck, love and peace. : )

    • Danielle! You can do this, lady! Seat belt on! 🙂

      I will be sending you happy thoughts, peaceful thoughts and prayers for Friday. Keep me posted on what happens. (((HUGS)))

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