Monday night, the X called to talk to the girls. Immediately he dove into his strange manipulations. My youngest daughter got on the phone and this is exactly what he said, “Hi _____, remember when we were at the children’s museum together yesterday?
“Yeeesss”, she answers.
“Do you remember when you wouldn’t let daddy go and you were holding onto me?”, he asks.
“Yes”, she answers.
“Daddy had to drive all the way back to San Francisco. I’m far away now….”. and on and on. The conversation was so bizarre that as I listened to him talk, I wondered two things: who was sitting next to him that he was trying to impress? The second option, was he was recording the conversation? The entire conversation was manipulative and bizarre. It was hard to listen to and uncomfortable to watch my daughters obvious discomfort.
Tonight, he calls back. My youngest daughter has been running a fever for the past 24-hours and doesn’t feel well. She answers the phone and he starts off by saying, “Hi _____. I miss you.”
Silence from her. She just stares at the phone.
“Do you miss Daddy?”
“Yes”, she answers uncomfortably.
“No you remember when you didn’t want daddy to leave and drive back to San Francisco?”, he asks.
She stares at the phone without answering.
At that point, I picked up the phone and walking into the garage. I explained that there are boundaries and that he can’t continue with these questions that make the girls so uncomfortable. I came back into the house and explained that daddy could call back in a little while. At that point, I sent him the following message:
Me: X- you are absolutely welcome to call the girls. I have never prevented that. There are boundaries and I will not allow you to emotionally manipulate the girls. You are welcome to call back if you can refrain from that type of behavior.
X: I’ll be reporting your interruption. In every phone call precisely Tina. You lied in court about what happened at church. I never uttered Parental Alienation Syndrome. I said ‘ PAS’. This is my church too. I took the girls there every weekend you were out partying. I never sped away. You have endlessly lied in court. I am going to prove you have Lupus not MS. You lie about your income. You lied about your rent.
Me: They will be awake until 8pm. You are welcome to call back however, you are not allowed to put them on the spot and continue with the bizarre questions that you were asking (her). She was visibly uncomfortable.
X: You should not be listening in to every phone call. She (Daughter) was hugging me and she said ”i won’t let you go. I am going to steal you from San Francisco. The supervisor had to tell her to let go. You don’t have any clue what your selfish, money hungry behavior is doing to OUR daughters not YOUR daughter.
Unless you’ve actually experienced a Narcissist in your life, you may be scratching your head right now. The entire experience makes you question yourself and your sanity. If you have experienced one then these text messages or emails from a Narcissist then you understand every line of it. Prior to understanding this disorder, I felt the need to respond and defend myself against everything that he said.
My instincts would be to remind him that he did speed out of the parking lot with the girls in the car. I would want to tell him that I’ve never lied in court. I’m not money hungry- I’ve supported my daughters without regular help from him since last June. I would normally rush to contact my doctor for a form that says I do have Multiple Sclerosis and not Lupus….and on and on. Now that I am not his victim, I don’t feel the need to do that. To me, his messages show a very disturbed person with a distorted version of reality that he actually may believe. The phone call to my daughters and the text messages show nothing but a twisted mind.
He can continue in his ramblings and bizarre behavior and he will be met with the boundaries that I will continue to place in his path.
I will not be his victim nor will I let him victimize or manipulate the girls.