Small Towns and Divorce Insanity


I have the lyrics to John Mellencamp’s “Small Town” running through my head right now.  Welcome to my town where everyone has 2.5 children and a happy little golden retriever standing guard by the white picket fence.

This morning I threw on my very best sweatpants (sarcasm) and headed in for my month IVig treatment which is my personal weapon against Multiple Sclerosis.  After being on this treatment for about 5 years, I don’t put a lot of effort into looking good for my nurses because I usually end up feeling pretty crappy and could give a rats arse about my appearance.  On my treatment days, I am lucky if I brush my hair and I usually avoid going into coffee shops or grocery stores where there is any chance of people seeing me.  My one stop today involved picking up my daughters from their gymnastics camp and I was sure I could duck in and out without being seen.


As I was walking into the gym, I saw an acquaintance from the community  who said, “Tina, can I talk to you for a minute?”.  I knew what was coming before the words even left her mouth.  I had just received the paperwork moments before from my X and his new attorney.  Basically, he went to church on Easter Sunday and cornered her husband into writing a declaration about my X’s attendance at church.  The declaration was very vague but he was manipulated into verifying that my X attends my church.  I could see it in her face- she felt horrible and didn’t realize the damage that had been done.  We talked for a bit about the situation and she asked for my contact information.  I found myself in the same position once again, how do you describe three nightmarish years of insanity in a 15-minute conversation without appearing insane yourself?  It didn’t help that I was dressed like a bag lady and had an IV bandage on my right hand.  I must have looked shaken up because she got out of the car and gave me a hug.

While I love living in a small town, I hate that the really nice people in my little town keep getting dragged into my insane world and manipulated by him just like I once was.


One response »

  1. Hi Tina.. my heart goes out to you. Not only was I married to a narcissist, but my father was one as well. I was doomed from the get go. Even though I went through my divorce and custody battle through the 90s, I am still picking myself up. I started my blog 10 months ago to help me heal, leave a legacy behind for my sons so they can one day understand what their father did to me, and best of all to reach out to other women who may be going through the same. During our law suit, my son’s father did the same to me.. he cornered a bunch of the neighbors, lied to them, and of course got them to speak against me. I too had a neighbor come up to me on more than one occasion to apologize for being sucked in by his lies. All I can say is as time goes by, the pain becomes part of my daily life… eventually becoming numb to it all. My sons are 24 and 21 and their father still bad mouths me to them. God bless you!

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