Tag Archives: preparing for divorce court

Preparing: Another Round of Court Paperwork

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I’ve been procrastinating on my court paperwork.  I needed a break from it all and felt so relieved about the current supervised visits.  It’s time to put the *Snuggie back on the shelf and get ready for the next round.  Today, I said to myself: Do It!  Grab the bull by the horns.

Our next court date is April 18th and this date will determine if the current order (supervised visits) becomes a permanent order.  After starting my paperwork tonight and reading the court transcripts, I feel extremely confident that it will go in our favor.  The paperwork and reality of it is very daunting but the positive component is that I don’t have a lot to do– he dug himself a big, cozy hole full of lies to lay down in.  I honestly don’t know how he could possibly climb out this time.

Regardless, I want to be prepared.  I have made all of the appropriate contacts, received supporting documentation and now it’s just a matter of filling out the forms and going through the motions.  I was hoping (along with billions of other people) that my Mega Millions lotto ticket was the winner last week so that I could hire a fabulous attorney to swoop in and take over this paperwork nightmare that I’ve been trapped in for three years.  After thinking about it a bit more, I realized that at this point I don’t think that I would hire an attorney even if I could pay for it.  I don’t think that I could find another human being more passionate about protecting my daughters.  Even if I had millions, I would show up for court in two weeks and represent my girls.

*Disclaimer: I don’t really own a Snuggie– can’t quite bring myself to do it but may reconsider when I retire.

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The Dreaded Pink Binder

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I arrived in court for our official divorce trial with my pink binder in hand.  In case you haven’t noticed by now, I’ve learned to document everything.

154 exhibits were entered into evidence that day– just from me.  The attorney who graciously offered to review my paperwork prior to the trial was amazed.  He told me that I could work in any attorney’s office in State of California with the case I had put together.
My friends who went to court with me know all about the famous pink binder.  It is 3-inches thick and color-coded with every possible exhibit under the sun.   This was my life for 2.5 years.  One friend who came to court with me called his buddy afterwards and said, “Work things out with your wife– divorce is gnarly and you never want to go through what I just saw”.  I have to disagree with that statement.  I don’t think divorce needs to be this way nor should it be this way.  If you are dealing with two sane, rational people then things should be much easier.  I knew what I was up against and therefore, the pink binder was my lifeline.

While in court, this 5’2″, normally peaceful, fun-loving and happy-go-lucky blonde girl goes into battle mode.  I developed a system for documenting my case which helped to keep me sane through this process.  That pink binder was my entire case: Trial Brief, Exhibit List and 154 pieces of evidence to back up every accusation that I prepared to present.

That pink binder also held tokens of strength: my biological mom’s pearl necklace was tucked in a zip lock bag in a pocket, a letter from my dad, a picture of my grandfather, an old email from my aunt, a card from my best friend, a keepsake piece from my sister, a poem from Glenn and photos of my daughters.  I also packed a hand-written card from my daughter that said, “I love you verey much.  You are the best mom ever”.  I packed my support system into that binder and I went into court prepared to fight.